Everybody seems to talk about forgiveness, but what does it actually mean? Forgiving is essentially letting go. If you have no more harsh judgments or strong emotions about someone, you have forgiven.
How can we forgive? What is the process of forgiving?
Forgiving means most of all understanding. There is no forgiveness without clarity. Clarity about what happened. Clarity about the actions that took place. Clarity about your feelings. Clarity about the damage that was done.
Go into CSI (Crime Scene Investigation) mode. What are the details of the situation? This helps you to get from someone who is involved to an observer. And the more you become an observer, the more you can distance yourself from what happened.
The moment you can distance yourself from the situation is the moment you come out of it. You step out of the actual situation. And so you become able to move on with your life. You´re not stuck in it anymore.
Things happened. The facts don´t change. But you can leave them behind. That´s what you want.
You will have to do this again and again. There will be something that reminds you of what happened. Then go into observer mode. Distance yourself. And move on.
This is forgiveness. Facts don´t change. But you can leave them behind.